Parent Consultations

Purpose

Parent consultations are a dialogue. The basic premise is that when parents feel heard, and not alone, they are more likely to be present with their child. There may be needed information, and there often is, but the goal is for parents to notice what they and their children are feeling so they can be responsive rather than reactive.

Process

Parent Consultations are requested by a parent or caregiver. Consultations might also be with a family who has been referred by another professional. A family is often seeking help with a behavior at home or at school. Professional referrals are sometimes related to extraordinary experiences within the family, i.e. illness, loss, kinship care. However, they can simply reflect the ordinary complexity of family relationships and stages, i.e. setting limits, attachment and separation, new baby, siblings, and growing bigger. Sometimes a consultation is about school and includes understanding the nature of the child within the context of a group learning environment.

A parent consultation lasts 1.5 hours. Ideally, this time is just for adults ensuring parents or caregivers can speak freely. Family stories take time to unfold, and this process works best unhurried. Time is given for this unfolding so I can better understand what the adult and child are facing. The child is seen within the context of stage of development, family relationships and the emotional experience.

There are times when I’m with both parent or caregiver and child. At these times, I contain the story to create an appropriate, respectful and safe space for children. The adult is guided on sharing but not freely. For young children, during these times, at home or school, adults and I are within the play space, at a play table or on the floor. These visits include a beginning and end transition time, a plan for our time together that follows a routine, observation, reframing, modeling, curiosity and problem solving. I always tell children what is happening and include the schedule of our time together. I remind children of the plan by telling them what is “now” and what is “next”. These visits are limited to no more than 6 meeting times.